This is a black unisex t-shirt for parents who’ve realized that anxiety is no longer a feeling but a permanent state of being. Off-white text documenting the moment peace of mind became a distant memory filed under “pre-kids.”
For those who’ve learned that having children means signing up for lifetime worry subscription with no cancellation option—every stage brings new fears and the anxiety never actually goes away, it just evolves. The design acknowledges that parenting isn’t about raising perfect kids, it’s about accepting you’ll spend decades catastrophizing about their safety, choices, and futures. Works well as a gift for new parents realizing what they’ve gotten into, exhausted veterans who’ve accepted their fate, anyone whose brain runs constant disaster simulations, or parents whose relaxation ended the day their kid was born.
– Unisex fit
– Black cotton
– Off-white text print
– Sizes S–5XL (see size chart)
– Machine wash cold, tumble dry low
Runs true to size. For a looser fit, size up.
Made to order and ships within 3–5 business days. Due to the custom nature, returns are limited to defective items only.
Designed for adults who know that becoming a parent means trading peace of mind for permanent low-level terror disguised as love.