Knowing There's a Highway to Hell and Only a Stairway to Heaven Says a Lot About Anticipated Traffic Numbers.

The paths to eternity tells you everything you need to know

Black unisex t-shirt with off-white text reading "KNOWING THERE'S A HIGHWAY TO HELL AND ONLY A STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN SAYS A LOT ABOUT ANTICIPATED TRAFFIC NUMBERS." – funny sarcastic graphic tee
Someone planned the afterlife’s transport network. The capacity decisions were carefully considered. Off-white text on black cotton, reading the road ahead.
Black unisex t-shirt with off-white text reading "KNOWING THERE'S A HIGHWAY TO HELL AND ONLY A STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN SAYS A LOT ABOUT ANTICIPATED TRAFFIC NUMBERS." – funny sarcastic graphic tee
Someone planned the afterlife’s transport network. The capacity decisions were carefully considered. Off-white text on black cotton, reading the road ahead.
Black unisex t-shirt with off-white text reading "KNOWING THERE'S A HIGHWAY TO HELL AND ONLY A STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN SAYS A LOT ABOUT ANTICIPATED TRAFFIC NUMBERS." – funny sarcastic graphic tee

This is a black unisex t-shirt for people who’ve noticed the infrastructure disparity between eternal destinations and drawn logical conclusions. Off-white text applying urban planning logic to the afterlife.

For those who appreciate the irony that vice gets a multi-lane expressway while virtue gets a narrow staircase, suggesting the architects of eternity understand human nature better than we’d like to admit. The design combines Led Zeppelin references with cynical observation about moral choices and anticipated attendance numbers. Works well as a gift for philosophy majors, lapsed Catholics, anyone with a dark sense of humor, or friends who believe actions speak louder than intentions.

– Unisex fit
– Black cotton
– Off-white text print
– Sizes S–5XL (see size chart)
– Machine wash cold, tumble dry low

Runs true to size. For a looser fit, size up.

Made to order and ships within 3–5 business days. Due to the custom nature, returns are limited to defective items only.

Designed for adults who find humor in existential questions and believe infrastructure reveals more truth than scripture.